Put Your Pants On

Where’s your pants? Why are you just sitting there? Your baby is crying, your wife needs help with the dishes. Put down that porn magazine, turn off your Xbox and put your pants on, please, your family is depending on you, society is depending on you, we’re all depending on you to be the man you’re supposed to be. You might be asking yourself, “What does it mean to be a man?” Dictionaries define a man as someone who is an adult male person, as distinguished from a boy or a woman. “Well, that’s me” you say. Wrong, boys run around in their underwear, playing video games and have a mommy and a boy is what you are. Don’t worry though, you’re not alone, there are millions of “men” just like you, sitting at home while their wife works her two jobs, too lazy to get a job and provide for your family, sucking on the teet of society. Thank God Obama got elected, now you can get your stimulus check and buy some more video games. Go ahead and stimulate that economy!
Men are like trucks. We need a weight on our shoulders to feel important and to drive straight. Without that load we’re all squirrely and stop at every rest stop along the way. Whether it be the strip club, the hot chick walking down the street, or the hottest new video game since World of Warcraft, we are easily distracted from what we’re supposed to be doing. That weight is ours and we’re not supposed to transfer that weight to our wives and kids. They need us, they want us to lead them. If you are not providing for your family financially and emotionally you’re not only failing them but society also.
A woman gets up at 6am, gets ready for work, cooks breakfast for her husband and the kids. A beautiful picture of a home right? What I didn’t tell you is that her husband is still asleep on the couch from a long night of Halo 3. Why does she have to do this? Why is she providing the physical, emotional and financial needs for the whole family, including the husband? Why is she compensating for his laziness? This is killing the family. The kids might have a great time with Dad but its only because he knows how to play all their favorite video games. When they need someone to have a serious conversation with, they immediately go to Mom because she’s got her head on straight and a certain amount of wisdom that they don’t pickup from the Dad. They can’t respect him if he’s just on older child. They need someone to be a Dad. Someone that works hard, shows them the right way to live and teaches them what it means to be a respectful adult. Unfortunately, he’s wasted it because he’s just another kid for the wife to take care of.
Or maybe the husband has a job but the wife works too. They both go to work early and come home late. The kids never see them because they drop them off at daycare all day. Trying to keep up with the Jones’, this is just the way it has to be. Times are tough, and they need the extra money. Unfortunately, if the wife isn’t pulling in $30-50k a year, they aren’t making any extra money at all. When daycare, work clothing, car expenses, and taxes all get factored in, things start to add up. Maybe the husband should get a second job and have the wife stay home and raise the kids, because this is often overlooked as an important job in itself. Who better to raise them than the woman who birthed them? The weight of providing financially should be on his shoulders not hers, he needs the weight to drive straight.
Marriages and home life haven’t always been like this. Men used to be the sole provider for their families. They used to go to work all day, come home and play with the kids, have dinner with the family and actually care about what their wife did during the day. They longed to spend time with their wives because they loved them and didn’t see them as an asset to be exploited. What happened? Why isn’t this the case anymore? The history of dating can help to shed some light on what caused men to stop and women to start providing for their families. The typical date nowadays starts by the man picking up the woman in his car from her place or maybe even her parent’s place. Then they head out to dinner, where he lets her pay her half of the bill. Then go to a movie, where she buys her own popcorn and soda. Why does she have to pay for anything? This pattern starts on the first date and continues throughout the relationship. The term “date” was a term prostitutes used for their “hook ups”. Instead of dating, couples used to court each other. The boy would go to the girls’ house, have dinner with the family and that’s it. This would continue until the parents agreed that the boy was suitable for their daughter. Then the car was invented. Boys could take the girl out, buy them dinner and go to movies. After dinner and a movie, the woman often felt obligated to give sex in return for the entertainment. How is that unlike prostitution? Sex in exchange for goods. The women start paying their way so they don’t owe the men anything. Men weren’t under the supervision of parents so they felt entitled to do whatever they wanted to or with the girls, whether it be rape, abuse, or just a little demeaning of the woman, men thought they deserved something and would do whatever they wanted to get what the wanted. In response, the women’s movement started gaining steam to protect women from this gross mistreatment and to give them equal rights as the men. Women are indeed equal to men and if the men had treated them as women instead of pets that they could do whatever they wanted to with, a lot of the women’s movement would have been unnecessary. The women’s movement has come far, unfortunately, men are still looking for an easy lay and a nice piece of meat for their arm, driving the man and woman further apart.
Where would we be today if all men were hard working dudes. If a man woke up before his whole family, worked hard all day and came home to play with his kids and love his wife, we wouldn’t face nearly as many welfare situations, kids wouldn’t grow up as part of the system but rather as part of a family where they knew they were loved and could respect their father rather than wish he wasn’t alive. These kids are our future. We have to pour into them. It’s not that a mother is incapable of working but that a father is more respectable when he is. If a man can’t be respected by his own family, what benefit can he be to society?
In society today there is so much emphasis on our future. You’ll hear things like “go green”, “reduce your carbon footprint” or “we can’t let our future generations inherit our mess”. All these things are true and we must act and act now but not by supporting companies that are carbon neutral but by giving children Dads who work hard at their jobs, can’t wait to come home and play with them, and who look to serve their wives above the call of duty. These traits have to be passed on to our children or they are doomed to repeat our mistakes. Doomed to mistake boys for men. Men should be distinguishable from boys, they should be the men their families need. So men, please, take off the sweats and put on some pants with a zipper.